Another installment of Chelle’s Crazy Dreams

Here is last’s night dream. I have moved to Oklahoma (that has been a trend in my recent dreams). I have purchased a house with acreage, barn & now have horses. And I am close to Jenn M. In this dream she & I are trying to get to Kristin’s house, but of course we have many obstacles. At one point we are at some couple’s house, they have an indoor pool. The Mr is trying to get us to leave but the Mrs won’t let us. Somehow we end up going for a swim with the Mrs and their 8 month old baby girl (who is really cute and smiley by the way). We finally get out of there to end up with Jenn’s Mom (who is also now living near by). She keeps having us do different chores for her. After hours of doing stuff for her I finally just tell her “Hey, we are trying to get out of here. I really want to meet the daycare provider and go see the kids!” So we finally get out of there to run into one of the guys that I have working with my horses (apparently I have lots of cash in my dreams- & Jenn we are both skinny too!) I guess I had a horse for Jenn and the guy wanted to know if we were headed to work with the horse. I again state that we are going to meet the daycare provider. He suggested that we ride the horses over there; apparently she lives in the next house down the road. This is where I wake up.

I wonder if in my dream we went swimming because it was so hot in my room last night. I swear it was like 90 degrees in there! I was sweating, & I hate to sweat (unless I am doing something fun to generate that kind of heat). I think the extra heat in my bed had something to do with Gomer’s comforter that was on my bed. I had made her one, it is white and made out of that fuzzy material that you would make a stuffed toy out of and it is lined. She took my comforter up to her room cuz I was wrapped up in hers on the couch Sunday night. Tonight I will be getting mine back! I will not wake up in a puddle of my own sweat ever again! That was just gross!

Oh, did I tell you? Gomer made the Volleyball team! Games are Monday’s and Wednesday’s at 4pm starting on the 13th. I think I am more excited about it than she is. She is getting to that age where she would rather spend more time with her friends than her family. I know when I was in 7th grade I was either always at a friends house on the weekends or had the friends over at my house. As a mother I am just not ready for my daughter to be at that stage. The last 2 weekends she has been at her friend Ashley’s house. They have horses and live in the country & Ashley’s dad lets her drive the truck in the field and they have just oh so much more to do then we do. At home Gomer spends most of the time in front of the computer chatting with her girlfriends or outside playing with the neighborhood kids. I guess I just have to face it, I am a parent. A boring, don’t let my kids do anything fun parent. When did that happen? I think it has a lot to do with how different it is now then when I was her age. When I was her age I lived in town, the megatropolis of Grant- population 700 & I think they were counting household pets there too. I couldn’t jaywalk without my parents finding out about it. I could however sneak out of the house without them finding out, until that one time when the city police brought me and my friend Jodee home. Can you believe my parents grounded me for the rest of the school year for that one? That made eighth grade of boring! But back then, oh almost 20 years ago (gosh I am getting old!) it was safe to be out and about after dark. Now I make sure my kids are in the house before dark and we live in a quiet neighborhood. We have only had a few incidences. The school playground is directly across the street. We have had some high school boys filming their version of Wrestle Mania, a couple trying out the swings as a sex device, and a few drag races down the street. I only called the police on the drag race; they could have lost control & come crashing through my house! I don’t care what damage they do to their daddy’s car cuz they would have to answer to their daddy, but I do care what kind of damage they would have done to my house! Anyway, I’ve gotten away from the subject of Gomer staying with her friends on the weekends. I guess I don’t really mind her doing that, but if the rest of us were to do something fun then she always complains about it. And if she isn’t home then I don’t have a built in babysitter either, ya know, incase I decide to go somewhere. But that never happens.

Lil’Man loves it when his Aunt Mel & I decide to go out on the weekends. His Uncle Jason watches all the kids so Mel & I can go. Jason likes it when I take Mel out; he gets some when she gets home. Lil’Man loves to go to Uncle Jason’s house. He & Nick play all night long. He went there on Saturday night when Mel & I went out. He was still awake playing ps2 @ 2:45 when I brought Mel home!

Now a different subject.

I so need to figure out what I should be doing with my life. Things with Jeff have not gotten any better. He is now on different meds, I guess it is supposed to take 2 weeks for the new ones to kick in. I don’t know if I can take another 2 weeks of him. He had been staying at his friend Travis’ house during the week, doing some auto repair work for him (Travis paid some court stuff for Jeff) and then coming home for the weekends. I was fine with that. Now he has been home for 11 days straight & I think I am going insane! I have not had one good night sleep in that entire time, my body hurts & I am getting cranky. I know I am better off without him, that good things come my way when he is not in my life. I also know that I deserve much better then what he has to offer. He is the most self centered, self absorbed person I know. Whenever I try to talk to him about something that interests me, he interrupts me with crap he has already talked to death to me about. He doesn’t listen to things I want to talk about & has even told me that he isn’t going to listen to me. When I get home the kids & I hang out in my bedroom all night so we don’t have to listen to his bullcrap. Gomer is tired of his crap too. She thinks he has some internet girlfriends too. I am sure she is right. I am just afraid of what might happen if I were to tell him to leave. I have been hoping he would do it on his own, but he hasn’t yet. This is the longest he has been back too. It’s been 1 ½ years now. He totally stresses me out! I am going to end up on the loony bin soon if he doesn’t go there first! Yesterday was my birthday and he didn’t say happy birthday to me until after the kids had & until after my dad called to sing to me. It was after my dad’s call that he asked who had called so early in the morning. When I told him it was my dad, he was quiet for a minute and then said Happy Birthday. That was the only time all day that he acknowledged what day it was. He did make dinner, but I feel if he is home all day- not working just playing on the computer- then I should come home to a clean house & dinner ready every night! But no, the house is cluttered- stuff laying about cuz people are too lazy to take care of their stuff and after I am done picking up I have to make dinner. No wonder I am cranky all the time! I just need to get him gone & to find me a man that can support himself, is nice to my kids and to me. I’m not asking for much now am I? Okay, I think this is getting too long. I will stop now. But just to let you know, I feel better now that I have spilled all of this.