It's time. It's time to get a different vehicle. With the price of gas these days I can't afford to drive my Durango. $70 for a fill twice a week! Agghhh.... So I am looking. I want something 2003 or newer, in the upper 30's for mpg, under $10k, and something that is not white. I know, all the criteria is pretty normal and common until you get to the color thing. I've had a white car and I don't care to have another one. I prefer a black one. I would really like to get a Charger. I was very impressed with the one I had to rent back in March. But the Corolla gets like 40 mpg, that's more impressive! The amount I save on gas would pay my car payment. Car payment, I don't have one of those right now and don't really want another one, but it is going to have to happen. I really want to wait until I get back from Florida in June before getting a different vehicle. There are 6 of us going and we are driving. I really need my Durango to fit us all there, seeing how I refuse to be an owner of a mini-van. I know, I'm strange. I see a mini-van as a soccer mom thing and I'm not a soccer mom. I'm a Football/cheerleading/basketball/volleyball mom. The only plus on a mini-van is that car sex is extreme easy.

I had dental work done this morning. What a way to start your day, getting loopy on the gas and having holes drilled in your mouth. Now I feel like I'm a stroke patient. The entire left side of my face is numb. It's the strangest feeling, I really don't like it at all. My eye even feels weird. I'm just really thankful that in a few hours I will be all back to normal. Just in the mean time, I'm trying realy hard to not have to talk. It's hard to talk when only half of your face does what you want it to do!

Child Support


I got a check in the mail the other day, for child support. The first one in YEARS. It was for a whooping, are you ready for this???? Get ready..... are you sitting down........

$2.91!

Yep, that's right! $2.91 for 3 kids. I think they can wipe their asses now, cuz toliet paper is about all you can buy with that kind of cash.

So how was your weekend??? Let me tell you about mine......


Started out Friday night by going to M's hockey game. It was a good exciting game, they won 8-5. M had 3 goals and 4 assists. Left from the game to get to Detroit where the team he coaches was playing. Got to 275, exit 17 with no problems. Then the trouble starts. I had switched cars with a friend, she needed more seating for the weekend, I wanted better gas mileage for the weekend. About a mile before the exit, it had snowed. A whispy blowy snow. The road commision salted the roads to the point it was like driving on a pretzel! As we exit 275 North at exit 17, the wind blows just a split second too late and reveals the biggest fricking pothole I've ever seen. Note I said, "too late" cuz we hit that sucker and hit it hard. The impact blew out the tire and apparently cracked the rim. We made it to the hotel. We couldn't put the spare tire on, because it was already on one of the rear tires. See my friend had a blow out a few months ago and still had gotten that tire fixed. She had been carrying it around in her truck for the past few months. & dumb me took it out of the truck and left it in GR so we would have room in the truck for our luggage. Stupid move. We weren't able to get the car fix on Saturday due to the game schedule, so it stayed parked at the hotel. Sunday, we had it towed ($90)to the local Sears store to get it fixed. That's when we found out the rim was cracked. The guy at Sears tells me, as he is standing there with his back to a wall full of rims, that they don't sell rims there. I think he meant a single rim that would match the other ones already on the Jetta. So..... we had to take a cab to the airport - cuz that rental car company that says they will pick you up, they lie-($30) to rent a car ($150)to drive to GR, get the other rim, have a tire put on it ($65)and then drive back to Detroit ($40 in gas) the next morning to be able to drive the Jetta home. Oh, then the rental company removes my pre-paid gas @ $2.99 a gallon and charged me $4.59 a gallon for 5 gallons. I have to call them and bitch about that!

Oh, yeah, we had a motorclub plan, but because this all happened on a weekend and we didn't have the card with us, they couldn't verify membership so I had to pay all of this out of pocket. They had better pay me back!

I have found the next vehicle I want to purchase though. The rental car was a 2008 Dodge Charger. It was so nice!!!! So roomy, rode so smooth and got great gas mileage. We left Detroit with a full tank, got to GR, dropped off M and his daughter in Walker then drove to Newaygo, stopping in Grant to pick up my son and left the vehicle running the entire 30 minutes I was there and used less than 1/2 a tank of gas. & it only cost me around $40 to fill it on our way back to Detroit!!! I was so impressed.

Last night my oldest (14) and I laid in bed and watched Dane Cook together. After the show was over, she turned off the tv and then started asking me all sorts of questions. She is a freshman now and FULL of questions. One of the questions was how old does she have to be before she can have sex. She was like "We've never really estiblished an age, so what is it?" I told her "Ideally, I would like you to wait until you are married, but I know that isn't going to happen. So you have to wait until you are atleast 18." She asked why that age, I told her any time before that & I can send the guy to jail. Not that I would, but I know me & I know I will atleast consider it for the guy that does that to my baby!

I love that my daughter can ask me anything. It just scares the shit out of me- knowing what I was doing at her age and what my friends were doing. She's a good girl and I want to keep her that way. She did ask me what I did at her age, what my bff and I did and why did we do stupid stuff like that, and she went on to ask me what I've done as an adult. Who I lost my virginity to, what I did with boyfriends before her father and after. I try to be completely honest with her but I don't want her doing some of the stuff I've done. I was pregnant for her at 19. I want more for her. I want all of my kids to have a better life than I have had and I don't want them to stuggle like I have.

Life with a teenager. It's never dull!

OK time for another coffee break - put on your thinking cap:



There is a very, very tall coconut tree, and there are 4 animals:

King Kong, Ape, Orangutan and a Monkey pass by. They have a competition to see who is the fastest to get the banana. Who do you guess will win?

Your answer will reflect your personality. Try and answer within 30 seconds.

Got your answer? Scroll down to see the analysis.


-

-

If your answer is . . . .


Orangutan = dull/stupid

Ape = foolish

Monkey = idiot

King Kong = moron



Why?


Coconut trees, don't have bananas ! ! ! !

It's obvious you're stressed by your work.

Go home

THE WORLD'S SHORTEST PSYCHIATRIC JOKE


A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only underwear made of Saran Wrap.

The psychiatrist says, "Well...I can clearly see your nuts."

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and
I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or
Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa
dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in
tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary
Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how
crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and
secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the
Curse? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting
Right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging
Through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll
be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly
with Knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen
quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers
monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the
bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood
Swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's
a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer
fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George
Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was
written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just
crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the
reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so
painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened
an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these
words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you fu*ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny
middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing
happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned
above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless
You're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything
'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and
Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the
local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your
life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a
moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say
something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular
manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately,
there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my
Maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your
Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending
bull Sh*t. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

I've made it through 2 Fridays without a breakdown. I think my luck has taken a turn for the better.

I put in my notice at the bar, last Saturday was my last night there. I am going to miss it, I already know. They did leave it so I can come back if I want to. I prolly will end up going back.

More staff changes at the day job. I just don't understand how someone could steal money from their employer and think that no one will find out. I really don't understand how anyone could steal from an employer that is as great as the one I have. Go figure, takes a lot of strange people to make the world go round.

5 more months until the kids & I take off for Disney. I think I am more excited than they are!

On the radio this morning they were talking about the movie "The Bucket List" and what was on their own bucket lists. That made me think of what should be on mine. So here it is:
1. See my kids graduate from High School & College, succeed in what they choose to do.
2. See my kids find the loves of their lives, get married & have babies.
3. Find the guy that makes my heart race, the one that I would find myself missing when we are apart for just a few hours, the one that makes me feel special and beautiful when I am just puttering around the house in my pj's with my hair pulled back in a ponytail from the night before.
4. Go to Scotland and research my family history

It's a short list, but that's all I want. Shouldn't be too hard now should it?

Sometimes you just wanna go "GGGRRRR!!!!" If my boss was here right now things might be better. He is gone on vacation right now & I am in charge. Being in charge sucks!

My dad owns & runs a family business that has been around for over 100 years. He was considering selling, but has now changed his mind. He asked me the other day how much I make a year. I told him, then told him what I would need to leave my boss (funny, but just paid medical and the same $$ per year would get me to leave). When I asked him why he said he was just thinking. Right now if he were to ask me to come work for him I would do it. Forget the paid medical. I wouldn't have this headache!

My boss told the other girls before he left on vacation that I am the manager. That everything goes through me. I guess someone missed that memo, cuz she is deciding her own schedule. I told him when he had her start going from office to office that I need someone at my office that is dependable and will be here when told to be here. Funny how that isn't happening.

I am a bit concerned about tomorrow. It's Friday. My truck has broken down the last two fridays in a row. 2 weeks ago it was the wheel bearings, last week a broken tie-rod. I can't afford anything to break this week!