It's been a while, I know. I'm sorry. I really haven't had much time to post anything. The X decided he couldn't hack it out of state, so he's back in the area again. Still no income for him coming in so that means no child support. That sucks. He does do what he can for me though. The water pump on my truck exploded the other day & he did replace it for me, along with the brake pads, rotators & shocks. I of course paid for the parts, he did the hard dirty work. I just hope I made it clear enought to him that there is no way in hell I will be taking him back into my life the way he wants me to. Been there, done that, NEVER again.

I have to go in for a mammogram next week. I'm 33 and going in for my 2nd mammogram. That really sucks. Breast cancer has been the killer of every female that has died on my mom's side of the family except for one. That one would be my mom and she died from another form of cancer involving the lymph nodes. I have a swollen lymph node and found a lump- both in the left breast area. 2 years ago I had a baseline mammogram done and they found some questionable lumps. Turns out they were just cysts but it was still a scary process. The waiting & not knowing is what really freaks me out. I have 3 kids that really need me. They love their dad & all but they know who to turn to when they really need something other than a good time. To top it all off, I don't have any health insurance. I found the lump a month ago and has been putting it off. I really don't want to find out I have something and then if/when I can get insurance they won't cover it because it is a pre-existing condition. That would really suck.

Had lunch today with a vender, he took a few gals from another office & I to an italian chain resterant. The food, as always, was very good. On our way out I saw this woman with her mother & her child having lunch. I so wanted to tell this woman that the g-string sticking out the top of the jeans had gone out of style about 80 pounds ago. But I didn't. I was nice- kind of. I had to point it out to one of the other gals though. I figure, if I have to see something nasty then so does someone else. Aren't I nice? The other gals were to busy talking about how the belt on my skirt was longer than my actual skirt & the male vender was busy talking about how "you've got legs".

I'm done painting my living room now, just need to get a few spots touched up. Next is the carpet, hopefully it will be installed this week yet. I still have to go get some tile for in front of the slider & the entryway and I need another bucket of mud so I can finish texturing the dining room walls. I just can't wait until it's all done. It is going to look so nice!

My 15 year class reunion is coming up this summer too and I am busy planning that too. So between my 40+ hour a week day job, 16 hour a weekend night job, fixing up my house and raising my 3 kids I also am squeezing in the class reunion planning. That might give you an idea of why my posts are so few & far between.

The X is living out of state now, like 6 states away. He still thinks that I need to drop everything I am doing to talk to him whenever he calls or I-M's me. I don't think so buddy. I might have more motivation to be nicer to him if he would actually pay some support. $100 in the past 3 months for 3 kids just doesn't cut it.

Ok, gotta get back to work now. Bye.

So I guess I am averaging one new post about every three weeks. Sorry about that.
Lots have been going on but nothing is going on all at the same time. I've been working alot, took one day off of the bar job last week due to a major headache/headcold. I've been training a new girl at the day job for the past 2 weeks. I'm glad that is done but for a while it was nice to not be the only one in my office and to have someone else tell me how busy my office is and how I need a second person there all the time. She thinks I am super woman for being able to get everything done. Little does she know that I feel like I am barely scrapping by!

My house is torn up right now too. I am in a very slow process of having hardwood flooring installed in my dining room. I've removed the carpet and moved the hardwood pieces in from the garage. So to date I have a few piles of wood in my dining room yet can't use my dining room. I have carpet waiting to be installed in my living room but don't want that done until the hardwood is done. I also have a new to me bedroom suite on its way, the dining room set that I inherited from my mother and a piano coming. I want my floors done first! I am so tired of having my house torn up too it isn't even funny!

On a happy note, my Dad married the second most wonderful woman he could ever be married to. The first most wonderful he was already married to (my mom) and had 26 wonderful years together before she passed away. All I can say about his wedding is that it's about fricking time! They were dating for 6 years. They got married in a very private cermony on Saturday.

Now on a sad note, my uncle (my dad's oldest brother) died yesterday. He was 65. He had cancer. I hate cancer. Cancer sucks. My grandparents are not doing well. They are in their mid 80's and are not in good health. I am just afraid that losing their child is going to be a huge strain on them. I'm afraid that I will be losing them too before the year is up.

Okay, gotta go before I make myself into a sobbing mess.

I'm back from my vacation and back to work. It was a nice vacation, it's always good to get away. I have, however, now found myself in a bit of a funk. I think I know why but don't really want to go there. Kind-of that if you don't say it, it really doesn't exist kind of thing. I know, De-Nial is a river in Egypt. But hey, it's working for me right now so I'm going with it. It will hit me later, more than likely when I am home alone at night, or more embrassingly when I am at church with both my brothers and end up sobbing like a baby. I really have no one I can talk to about it and could pour everything out here cuz I don't really think anyone reads this. Maybe that is what I will do, but not today.