I had my dr appointment. He did a manual breast exam, much like the ones I always do in the shower. He would feel an area & ask me if that hurt. It was very tender, but with a high pain tolerance it didn't really hurt, but was very uncomfortable. The look that came over his face while he was doing the exam didn't fill me with good feelings, the looks kind of made me scared. He had a lot of concern showing on his face. So if you play poker, play against him- he shows everything in his expressions. He said I have a mass in my left breast, but doesn't think it's a tumor. I have to go on Thursday for a mammogram. I thought I was having that done that day, but guess I thought wrong. I hate mammograms. They really hurt. If you want to know what they feel like, stick your boob in the window and then try to shut the window. Yeah. They hurt. My breast have been tender non stop since my last appointment. I have a bruise on it now, right where the "mass" is. I'm not sure if the bruise is from the underwire on my bra, the exam he did, from the fight at the bar I work at on Saturday night, or a combination of all 3.

I had prayed that if I am going to have breast issues (i.e cancer) that the Lord would provide me with a way to pay for everything- like win the lotto so I could pay off my house and all my debt so I would not have to worry about those things while I was fighting the cancer. Friday night at the bar I made more in tips then I have ever made there. One guy gave me a $100 tip! In this dutch community that is pretty unheard of. It is very common for someone to order a bottle of beer at $3.75, give you a $5 to pay and they want their dollar back, but tell you with a smile "Oh, you can keep the coin Sweetie". Gee thanks. Maybe after your next round I can make a phone call. Saturday night was a decent night too, it was on the high side for tips then normal but about half of what I had made the night before. That was even after the big ol' brawl that one of my tables started. I guess I really surprised some of the people I work with. They all see me as this sweet innocent thing, not someone that would pick up the drunk fighting girl, throw her over my shoulder and start taking her out to the parking lot.

If you have any questions that you would like to ask me, feel free to ask. I usually don't know what to type cuz I really have no idea who reads this anymore. So let me know what you want to know & I will answer.